The big good-bye
Last Friday at exactly 1:22 am my grandfather passed away. He left this life, this "valley of sorrow"... he left me. I still can't believe it, not even after the weekend I've had.
Not even a year ago, my Papito Carlos left too: in less than a year I lost them both.
Life and death... the unavoidable truth everyone knows and most people are never capable of understanding, including myself.
A week ago he was still here, and today, I feel his absence so strong it makes me feel like he's been gone for a lot longer.
I know he was ready. He struggled SO hard to stay with us, he went through surgery, radiotherapy and other kind of treatments...it all meant a lot of pain, and even more to a person who always resisted medicine and doctors. He did it, for us, his family, because we asked him to. I'm sure he would've preferred to live the rest of his days not thinking about this disease: no medicines, no drugs, no doctors, no treatments...just appreciation, reflection and spending time with all the people he loved. That would've been his choice, I'm sure.
Even now that he's gone, he still has a huge impact on my life. He was such a compassionate, loving, giving, amazingly kind man, that not even death could take him away. So when I say "he's gone" I mean I can't hug him or touch him, but I can definitely feel him. I feel him everywhere, it's beautiful. Painful, but great. I know one day it won't be painful anymore, and then, it'll be nothing but BEAUTIFUL, like him.
Not even a year ago, my Papito Carlos left too: in less than a year I lost them both.
Life and death... the unavoidable truth everyone knows and most people are never capable of understanding, including myself.
A week ago he was still here, and today, I feel his absence so strong it makes me feel like he's been gone for a lot longer.
I know he was ready. He struggled SO hard to stay with us, he went through surgery, radiotherapy and other kind of treatments...it all meant a lot of pain, and even more to a person who always resisted medicine and doctors. He did it, for us, his family, because we asked him to. I'm sure he would've preferred to live the rest of his days not thinking about this disease: no medicines, no drugs, no doctors, no treatments...just appreciation, reflection and spending time with all the people he loved. That would've been his choice, I'm sure.
Even now that he's gone, he still has a huge impact on my life. He was such a compassionate, loving, giving, amazingly kind man, that not even death could take him away. So when I say "he's gone" I mean I can't hug him or touch him, but I can definitely feel him. I feel him everywhere, it's beautiful. Painful, but great. I know one day it won't be painful anymore, and then, it'll be nothing but BEAUTIFUL, like him.
rocio - 9. Aug, 15:00
jose81 - 11. Aug, 06:07
Chochi, su abuelito es ea gran persona, asi como usted la describe tan bien. Todas las personas que lo rodearon lo recordarán sin duda, como esa persona fuerte, llena de cualidades y amor. Estoy seguro, que asi como dice usted, dentro de poco no será mas doloroso, sino que hermoso....
Nashaupt - 11. Aug, 06:19
'He' is a part of You
What You feel as 'him' must actually be already a part of You. It is as if he had left a germ in your Personality to be grown by You. Bring this nucelus to life and grow it and the pain will change to joy and power of life.
