Piles of rock,
your insides.
I go through you.
You once allowed me,
I have abused you.
You're all around,
agonizing.
How much you give me,
how much I take.
I destroy you.
"Development" I tell myself.
What a fool I feel like.
You must be sacrificed.

My heart shook
as I realized it was me;
I had done this to you.
And there I stood,
heavy breathing.
How vulnerable you looked.
How helpless you were.
I could not protect you
and yet,
I had enabled you to protect yourself.
I saw how progress for me
meant death for you.
Mixed feelings made their way through my skin
as I walked away.

Technology can be very helpful in making democracy a reality. Thanks to it, the power of information is now more widely shared and access to it has become significantly easier. It's a great thing transforming the world in ways we hadn't even dreamed of.

Communication between any government and its "people" is fundamental at all times, but the "people's" greatest opportunity to be heard comes during election preliminaries: candidates are then willing to listen, it is a moment to speak up. YouTube's groundbreaking initiative in Spain elecciones08 proved the significant role technology can play in democracy today. 600 user questions were submitted to the elecciones08 channel; 600 people were able to speak directly to their candidates and express their needs and concerns. 53 of those questions were posed on TV in interview series & TV promotions that reached an audience of over 30 million people.

It's the first time Spaniards got an opportunity like this, and they used it. Good for them.

Guns. Weapons. The debate on whether their creation made the world a safer place or the exact opposite is still on- even though I think it's rather logical if you think about it.

Right now there's a turmoil in Guatemala about a bill that aims to regulate the acquisition and the bearing of guns by civilians: their rights and the limits of those rights are to be set by the Congress any day now.

This is -no doubt- a very complicated issue, especially in a place like Guatemala: a country that ends the day with close to twenty killed- and yes, I mean every day.

I think it is fair to say that it's easier to believe that the way to survive this reality is by having your own guns to 'protect' yourself, instead of looking at the whole picture. IT IS a bit more complicated than that, I believe.

Gun-trafficking- the amount of illegal weapons owned by Guatemalans is ridiculous, and most crimes are committed by unregistered weapons, but even if they weren't, the registration system we have is so pathetic the police would have to go through piles and piles of paper to locate a single gun.

The bill in question doesn't even come close to approaching this out-of-control weapon situation we have and have had since...mmm...forever? Well, at least for as long as I've been around- but it's something. It is time to start discussing this important matter: people are scared, the State of Guatemala isn't capable of granting us protection and safety, but I don't think that arming ourselves, our whole society, is going to change that: it hasn't up until now, maybe it's time to change strategy, no?

This bill doesn't forbid civilians to carry guns, it only states what kind of guns they're allowed to. I'm very ignorant on the weapons theme, but I've heard people who know more than me say that the bill needs a lot of changes. Well, changes should be made, there should be an agreement, but above all, we should start building a safer society- not through guns. Perhaps we should start demanding more of the authorities (it is their job to protect us after all- we literally pay them to, right?) and helping them know how to protect us: technology is the safer shot, no?

Anyways, I've been thinking about this and I saw a car with a rather interesting bumper sticker today, it made me want to write about it. I can't upload it because I've exceeded my disk quota, but it said: "GUN CONTROL is being able to hit your target". If you want to see the pictures, go here.

Ecuador, Colombia and Venezuela need to make up. Colombia should apologize to Ecuador for the display of Colombian military action on Ecuadorian territory, and Venezuela should stay out of it.

In other words, I mean to say: Álvaro Uribe should to accept he shouldn't have done what he did without the knowledge and cooperation of the government of Ecuador, and accept the possible sanctions. Rafael Correa should accept his apology. Hugo Chávez should be smart about this and look at the bigger picture: a divided Latinamerica does Latinamericans no good.

i love the dave matthews band, and i'm especially crazy about "dream girl". there's something about that song that touches me; here's the video:

53, that is the number on my mind tonight. 53 is the number of people that got on a bus friday and got nowhere. they no longer exist. they died.

i wonder where they were going. home perhaps? was someone waiting for them? who knows.

life's unfair, that's no secret. still, it never ceases to amaze me. and death- it's scary. you don't see it coming and then, suddenly, you're gone. who suffers the most are those left behind: those whose only choice is to accept and let go. and to forget, if they can.

the public transportation situation in Guatemala is ridiculous. we're so irresponsible...i can't even imagine how many guatemalans have died because of negligence and lack of interest. the buses are in precarious conditions, that is something everyone can see. not only do they pollute horribly, but they're also a tremendous threat to our safety. and the drivers---they're usually very unqualified to drive such vehicles. let's put aside the fact that being a bus driver in Guatemala means risking your own safety in many ways(another problem that needs to be solved)...still- drivers are responsible for many peoples' lives, and should be better prepared.

what happened to this people is a tragedy, one of many that took place in Guatemala on friday night.

I felt the need to step away, if only for a couple of days. I need to abstractly find my way back to me, to you, to faith in us- "us" as in you and me, but also "us" as in people in general. People like you and me, and yet also people very unlike you and me.

This is one tough world to digest.

I need to step away and recover force. I need to leave blame far behind and learn to be morally selfish. I am aware of just how lucky I am, in so many and different ways...but I still belong to this world. I desperately need balance. There's only one person who can give it to me: myself.

I thought this poem was perfect for you.


A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

My whole life I've been asked for money by people on the streets. It has never ceased to upset me.

It's a very effective -and unnecessary- reminder of my country's reality. Not only does it make me sad, but it also puts me in a very uncomfortable position: weather I'm walking around or driving in my car, there's something sort of abusive about someone tapping on my shoulder or knocking on my car's window demanding for something I'm supposed to have and obliged to give. Beggars, weather they're young or old, male or female, always have this look; this look: not precisely a sad one, more like a blaming one. While it always makes me feel responsible somehow, it still delivers a clear message of full resignation.

I try to have coins near by, I always carry candy (for children) and in the mornings I usually have one or two extra bananas. But---is that better than nothing? when can it ever be enough?

Money- how much is enough? how much is too little?
Food- is that polite?
Candy- how can a piece of candy help children that should be in school but instead are forced to collect a certain amount of money by the end of the day?

There's this blind woman and her son (I suppose) that come to my window every single morning, and it is really getting me down. I feel so responsible I sometimes try to avoid the street where they usually are, just so that I don't have to be in that so very unfair position. Unfair for both parties, I guess. Whose fault is it? Should they stop asking, should I stop giving, should this go on, is this natural?

Beggars have existed ever since history can tell. That doesn't make it right. It certainly doesn't help me know how to act.

I feel so trapped in this very depressing human reality, frustateddddddddddddddd

17 is just a number, a number I don't really dislike. Well, I can't really think of any number i dislike...what really scares me is what this number, 17, represents to me as a Guatemalan.

17 is the number of people that get killed everyday in my country. 17 is the number of mothers that are going to have their hearts broken everyday. 17 is the number of families that are going to be victims of what appears to be unstoppable violence- everyday, in this country, my country, my Guatemala.

17 is much more than a number to me. it keeps multiplying. and it hurts me.

There were some technical problems in my blog this past couple of days and I couldn't post anything. I wrote this and saved it, so here it is...better late than never, right?

OK I know you read the press and don't need me to tell you about this two amazing events that took place just yesterday. It's all so complicated I can barely even express an opinion, but from my very limited comprehension of this two situations I must say I am glad.

Kosovo- this region deserves its independence. The countries that are against it, apart from Serbia (whose reasons are evident), are obviously trying to stop this event from becoming a trend. Russia is still an extremely large country, whose government has very limited real control over its population and territory; China is concerned about Taiwan; Spain is troubled with the Basque Country situation...but all those situations are completely different to Kosovo's. This independence had to have happened sooner, but I am really glad it happened at all, and support it.

Fidel- it's no secret he's old and ill, and those are not the conditions a leader of any country should be ruling on. What will happen to the "Cuban Revolution" now it's uncertain, but I am positive that it was time for Fidel to step down.

not only that i'm lucky enough to be madly in love, but also that i so deeply admire that one and only man that lives in my dreams, owns my heart and shares my future...

Cleo tiene al menos veinte años de trabajar cuidando carros en la 12 calle y 2a avenida de la zona 10 de la Ciudad de Guatemala, en frente del Géminis (donde está T.G.I.Friday's). No es originario de la ciudad, y le tocan noches duras, largas y frías la mayor parte del año. Sin embargo, nunca falta en su expresión un gesto de amabilidad, con un indiscutible toque de ternura.

El sábado pasado tuve el gusto de poder platicar con él un rato, y aunque no lo sabe, hizo mucho por mí esa noche. Y es que cuando se vive envuelta en una realidad socio-cultural como la de la Ciudad de Guate, es inevitable que la llama de la confianza, la llama del "auto-estima social" se debilite...hasta casi extinguirse. Son personas como él las que me devuelven la esperanza, son espíritus como esos los que me llenan de ganas de ser mejor y contribuir a producir los cambios que tanto necesitamos.

Le pedí que pensara en lo que quisiera pedirle a un político extranjero. Con mucho gusto, se tomó el tiempo necesario y finalmente me dio una respuesta que me cautivó; me cautivó por su humildad y por la profunda sinceridad con la que apeló a algo tan humano como el amor: la solidaridad.



La solidaridad, como el amor, es algo tan abstracto y tan mágico que hace imposible el encontrar una receta para producirla. Es algo que tiene que nacer del corazón de cada persona. De todas las personas.