“Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.”

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. quotes (American Writer, b.1922)


Disappointment is defined as "the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest" according to wikipedia. And tonight, under a beautiful-round-yellow-full-moon (probably looking the most beautiful i've ever seen it)that's exactly how I feel. Disappointed.

I realise I'm a very lucky person. There's not nearly enough reasons for me to be sad or feel bad about in my life. I'll confess I feel very selfish and guilty when I'm feeling down because I know there's so much pain and suffering -the real kind- going on in the world that I feel like I don't deserve a single tear and end up feeling stupid.

Still. I'm a small little person with the weight of her own world on her shoulders, and tonight it feels heavy. I'm getting older. Age has brought me many wonderful things...time has gone through me, leaving me with many lessons learned...and even though I have the certainty I'll always be too naive to know as much as I could, I've earned some knowledge through this twenty-four years...and I can say that knowledge, as much as it sets me free, it makes me ache. Sometimes I wish I knew a little less, I wish I'd seen a little less, I wish I'd heard a little less...

But tonight isn't about the world and how we need to fix it and so much of the work isn't getting done...I feel disappointed about that everyday. Tonight is all about me (old-selfish me). I'm disappointed because I'm 24 years-old and need to grow up. I'm disappointed because I'm not doing a very good job.

I'm a grown-up who's holding on to her previous self. The reason is clear: being a kid is so much easier, not to mention funner; you get to believe you'll get what you give; you think being in love with two boys at the same time is -not only possible- but that it can actually turn out ok; you get to imagine you'll end up with that (very cruel if I may) pre-Shrek disney-world-created image of prince charming, who will not only give you what you ask for, but more, much more; you imagine you'll be -the one- able to fix the world; you actually believe your grandparents will see you graduate from high school, college, get married, have children...and you actually think that not only will they be there, but that they'll always be those caring and loving creatures, the sweetest you ever knew, forever; you believe all those you love will be around always, to celebrate with you your achievements and cry with you your loses, always by your side.

But the grown-up reality is a bit different: you should always give, but shouldn't hold your breath while waiting to receive in the same way (if you did you would probably suffocate); hearts get broken and frustration strikes over and over again; prince charming turns out to be an ordinary person with as much qualities as flaws (just like yourself); the world and its reality (realities) turn out to be far more complicated and messed-up than you could have ever imagined; your loved ones pass away, and before they do, they change...those who used to protect you and take care of you start to need your protection and care, as they start to crumble; people leave, forget, stop caring...they miss birthdays, graduations, funerals...and you find yourself alone, as you always were but never knew.

Yep...growing up is hard. Life is tough, but only as tough as you allow it to be. I need to learn to appreciate people as they are, seeing in them my own reflection, and maybe then I'll be able to take life as it is, while enjoying the ride. Stop expecting...start accepting. That would be a good start.

I always knew life was wonderful...I just had a different concept of what "wonderful" was. But I'll be ok, who says one can't adjust? I'll find magic in this new world of mine. I just need some time.

This film really shocked me- not only was I completely clueless about how endangered sharks currently are, all over the world, but I was also unaware of how important they are to life on earth.

I had never been specially fond of sharks, but I couldn't help feeling outraged and saddened by how savagely human beings are acting in the ocean, not respecting life under or above the water. We're acting irresponsibly and unconsciously (and I say "we are" because if "we are" witnessing it but not preventing it "we are" allowing it and therefore "we are" also responsible).

How wrong shark fishing/finning is (specially in the amount and ways it has come to be done commonly) isn't just about the terrible effects it will cause (and is already causing) on human life and all other forms of life on earth, but mainly about the complete lack of principles, respect and conscience it shows. What have we become? We respond only to money. Wherever there is money, we shall go. Whatever brings money to our hands, we will do. No matter how and where, no matter who and when...money calls the shots around here.

We're supposed to continue to evolve as humans, not turn into monsters (I think?). We must choose another path. Happiness isn't in having. We have forgotten all the basics, we are blinded by the desire to own, and we forget one simple but fundamental truth: one cannot own, one cannot be, one cannot anything, if one doesn't exist. We will cease to exist if we don't start acting responsibly towards ourselves and others...people, animals, the environment.

Let's wake up from this terrible nightmare we have created for ourselves and start changing things around here, shall we?

Pledge to save sharks. See the movie and tell your friends that saving sharks from shark finning and extinction is something you're concerned about. Your pledge will make a difference. Click here.

did anyone get the title? haha it doesn't matter. I love this song... I could sing it all day long, with all my heart (every time).



Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me
All - ah peaceful melody
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch on closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This is out fate, I'm yours

Hoy la prensa anunciaba los doce años de existencia de "El Periódico". En ocasión de ello Jose Rubén Zamora, presidente del diario y guatemalteco empedernido, incluyó un especial titulado "Los demonios del Estado de visita en casa: crónica de un allanamiento".

El especial es de hecho una breve reflexión de desahogo personal y sentida denuncia (24 intensas páginas). Se trata principalmente el allanamiento que fue realizado en junio del año 2003 en casa de Zamora, en presencia de su familia y como un acto de abuso de poder, ilegalidad y que resultó -no extañamente- en impunidad, incapacidad y negligencia del (patético) sistema judicial guatemalteco (el hecho se dio durante la presidencia de Portillo, nuestro inocente ex-Presidente y al parecer -sólo en Guatemala es esto posible, o más bien, y lamentablemente...no sólo aquí- próximamente diputado, porque aunque parezca una imposible pero no última burla y bofetada a la cara del pueblo guatemalteco, aquí con conectes se hace lo que se quiere).

A pesar de padecer de la enfermedad crónica del optimismo, junto a una infección -que no se me quita- de ingenuidad, me cuesta tanto, por mucho que me esfuerce, absorber la "realidad" de Guatemala. Vivimos en un país que recién cumple poco más de una década de encontrarse "en paz", y a todos nos gusta creer que las cosas han cambiado, pero a veces me pregunto si algún día cambiarán. Me pregunto si es siquiera posible.

Recientemente han llegado a mí dos frases que se han quedado grabadas en mí y me hacen daño, pero me obligan a des-censurar mis ojos. Jose Rubén Zamora se refiere a Guatemala como

"este laberinto perfecto, es decir sin salida, que llamamos Guatemala"

y yo en ella aún distingo el -bastante débil- brillo de la esperanza, manchada de sufrimiento y decepción. Así mismo, en el maravillosa novela "Con Pasión Absoluta" de la autora guatemalteca Carol Zardetto se reflexiona acerca de los múltiples complejos e históricos problemas que aquejan a nuestro apesumbrado país, y se lee

"Si la razón dominara nuestras emociones, sin duda todos los largaríamos del país, encargando al último en salir que apague la luz..."

Sin duda alguna el periodismo libre es de fundamental importancia para el progreso y el combate de los males enrraizados que por años han estado a punto de derrumbar el árbol -una vez verde y fuerte- de nuestra querida y maltratada Guatemala.

El trabajo -nada fácil o seguro- de todos y todas las periodistas que luchan y se arriesgan todos los días con el afán de llevar la verdad a los hogares guatemaltecos y construir, de ella, una nueva nación que sea democrática y consciente, debe de ser aplaudido y agradecido.

Felicitaciones a "El Periódico", a todo su staff y a su valiente y trabajador Jose Rubén Zamora.

Congratulations elected-President Barack Obama!!!

I'm happy with the results of today's presidential election- the world needs change, we need change. And this particular and historic moment will hopefully bring GOOD change to the United States and to the rest of the world, a present world were huge global problems are waiting to be solved.

I like to think this problems will soon be solved (or begin to truly be solved), and hopefully they will in creative, innovative and clever ways. That will be the start of new/better times.

The election of Barack Obama really sends out a strong message to me. Change is happening, change is possible, and that's a good thing, because change equals (at least to me) opportunities and hope.


--- I must also say that McCain's defeat speech was very classy.

Estas últimas semanas las he pasado en un estado mental y emocional algo "x" ("x" como en una ecuación, como algo indefinido). Sin razón alguna, o más bien por diversas razones, tan abstractas como concretas, me siento bastante frustrada y confundida. Una de las razones, una que es más colectiva que particular, es la condición moral que la sociedad guatemalteca refleja.

Cualquiera que sabe algo acerca de la situación de mi país sabe que las palabras a las que comúnmente se le asocia se resumen en derivaciones o consecuencias de las siguientes: pobreza, corrupción, impunidad, exclusión, centralismo, oligarquías, racismo patriarcal...entre otras (nótese que me refiero en este caso exclusivamente a los aspectos negativos de Guate).

Las consecuencias de una historia nacional repleta de errores políticos han probado no ser únicamente económicas y sociales (dimensiones fundamentales de la vida de las personas que definen no ineludiblemente pero sí significativamente su destino) sino también culturales y peor que eso, morales.

Asumir que las complejas realidades políticas, sociales, culturales y morales de nuestra sociedad no están fuerte e inevitablemente relacionadas es no sólo incorrecto e irreal, sino también ingenuo y absurdo, pero hay que admitir que, por suerte, existe un cierto nivel de independencia entre las primeras tres y la moral. Es decir, con fuerza de voluntad, una persona puede superar la realidad política, social o cultural que la rodea y tomar la decisión consciente y -exclusivamente personal- de vivir bajo las normas morales que considere válidas, aún si éstas resultan no ser congruentes con el contexto en el que vive.

Con tristeza soy testigo de la realidad moral de la sociedad guatemalteca a inicios del siglo xxi. Todos y todas las que aquí estamos lo somos, aunque voluntaria o inconscientemente evitemos tomar el tiempo de reflexionar acerca de ello y de aceptarlo. Esto lo sé porque la inmoralidad a la que me refiero se manifiesta de mil y una maneras todos los días y nadie de ella escapa. Y no me refiero a inmoralidad en términos religiosos, sino puramente éticos, universales, humanos.

Las relaciones que hacen funcionar esta sociedad, las de naturaleza familiar, de amistad, profesional-laboral, política, comercial, etcétera, parecen encontrarse bastante corrompidas o bastante al borde de estarlo. Es preocupante.

Los guatemaltecos y guatemaltecas necesitamos recobrar la costumbre de procesar las decisiones que tomamos, grandes y pequeñas, por el filtro de la moral, de la ética universal, la más básica humana. No se trata de algo secundario, sino de un asunto importantísimo, vital, que hemos olvidado y desestimado, restándole importancia, ignorándolo, y que está llevando a nuestra sociedad a condiciones nunca antes conocidas.

La vida humana hoy por hoy, en Guatemala, no vale más que una laptop, o incluso un celular. Cada vez se hacen más comunes -y socialmente aceptables- el asesinato, el robo, la infidelidad, el tráfico de todo tipo de mercancías -incluso la mercancía humana (no sólo en forma de trata de blancas, sino también en forma de adopciones ilegales prácticamente comerciales), la corrupción en todas sus formas y niveles (desde la que se da en las aulas de los colegios hasta la que se da en el Congreso de la República)...la total indiferencia, la inconsciencia y la inmoralidad se han convertido en los pilares de esta nueva sociedad que estamos construyendo, pilares que se sostienen en el terreno del temor, la falta de interés -traducida en conformismo y aceptación del status- y la desesperanza. Nos hemos convertido en seres humanos des-humanizados, en seres insensibles, a-morales.

Como joven guatemalteca, veo con los ojos llenos de lágrimas mi realidad nacional y sé que no esta no es la sociedad que quiero, y menos aún la que merezco, la que merecemos todos.

El cambio nunca es fácil, pero siempre es posible. Yo sé que no quiero esperar, pero también sé que mi fuerza, aunque grande, es limitada. Nuestro futuro, el propio, el de nuestros hijos y hasta el de nuestros nietos, está en las manos de todos y de cada uno. Yo sé que puedo, pero no puedo sola.

I'm walking the streets of Madrid in a hot summer afternoon and life is beautiful. And then, there it is, staring at me...the frightened look of a boy that couldn't be over the age of fifteen in a poster that expressed the feel of yet another nation that, in the 21st century, dreams of becoming an independent state.

The Kurds (Kurdish:کورد) are an Iranian-speaking ethnolinguistic group mostly inhabiting a region that includes adjacent parts of Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Turkey and which is often referred to as Kurdistan. Kurdish communities can also be found in Lebanon, Armenia, Azerbaijan and, in recent decades, some European countries and the United States (see Kurdish diaspora). They speak Kurdish, an Indo-European language of the Iranian branch. The origins of the group and its relationships with historical entities and names are complex and disputed.

(Wikipedia)

The largest part of the Kurd population lives in Turkey (10.6 to 15 million) followed by Iran (4.8 to 6.6 million), Iraq (4 to 6 million), Syria (0.9 to 2 million) and many more also reside in Asia, the Caucasus, Europe and America. They are pretty spread but still manage to keep a collective identity alive.

The (sad) truth is that this kind of dream tends to carry blood. There has been, and continues to be, blood spilled over "Kurdistan".

I wonder if things will ever be different...if the world (us, people) is/will ever be able to handle things differently...my guess is: yes. Let's hope the Kurds shall be as lucky in the near future and make history, while also proving me right :o)

Last Tuesday I gave my first lecture ever. It was pretty exciting, although I felt a bit nervous at first.

The subject was very extensive and that made it scarier. "The Political, Economic and Social Situation of Central America and The Caribbean". I felt pretty confident talking about Central America, but not so much when it came to the Caribbean, for two reasons: a) The Caribbean includes over sixteen countries (it depends on the criteria taken into account), while Central America only six or maybe even seven (if you include Panama). I'm Centralamerican, and my education has always been a bit Central America-centric, if you know what I mean. And b) The Caribbean is much more heterogeneous and diverse than Central America is. Finding similarities between Guatemala and El Salvador and making generalizations of it was a lot easier than trying to do the same between Cuba, Haiti and Puerto Rico.

Anyhow, I was excited about this lecture and happy that I had been asked to do it. I stood in front of about 30 seminarians and one nun for over an hour and basically didn't stop talking. A lot of questions raised and the result was an intense discussion and a profound reflection of over 35 Latinamerican souls about the reality we are part of and our commitment to transform it.

At the end we all felt worried, frustrated and, most importantly, committed. I felt this was a good first lecture.